Shit. I'm losing myself. I've been thinking, and know it's quite true. i'm not the same anymore, i can't seem to get high, or crazy or anything. Oh Gosh, i'm crying again. And not because of this. I'm hurt, im still hurting. Not when the stupid me, clicked on smth wrong on facebook. Time and time again, i told myself, not to click on his profile on facebook, because its always on there that i find things that hurt me and make me cry, i've succeeded till now. I accidentally clicked on it, on his damn photo. And i was there, and then i saw it, all the stuff, liek who flirted with him, his hot friends include this one girl we used to quarrel abt. And he says they are just good frnds. All the compare ppl things are abt her, most desirable, hottest, and all. I mean yeah, i know im not supose to care abt this, anymore. But it just hurts. Because im confused again. What exactly does he want. He make me believbe i was his everything, and now, he removed me away from his life, and then aft that make me believe that he still care abt me because of how upset he got when he see the photos, and now this? He told me he didnt use facebook. Right, okay he used ot say i was hot and all. But i really didnt think i was. I mean i was nowhere near it. And right now, on his application, his beloved girl friend is fcking hot. Im jealous, im hurt, i shouldnt be. Im jsut being stupid, i cant help it. I really cant. Im so damn stupid. And now im crying over nothing, but in actual fact, im crying over the hurt that's washing me. i really dont know what he wants. I dont want this pain. i want it to go away, im so tired. Really. If he wants to live without me, so be it, stop this pain. Because i really love him. And i really cant stop myself. I know what i jsut wrote above is stupid, and what im getting so upset over is realyl stupid, and also, not worth crying over for. I know hes not worth it, but he was rly my everythign last time. Saying that 'it's over' to my frnds is easy, because i dont use my heart to say it. but if i do, i wont even be able to say it. And i cant even stop crying now. Oh shit. Somebody save me. i want my life back, i want me back ,the one i used to like.